A piece from a cake

It was a sunny day today. I got up early, bathed and dressed myself. Made some hot tea and locked myself back inside my bedroom. I gave my sisters back in Malaysia a call on skype. Before hanging up, I felt a lump in my throat. And before I knew it, right after I ended the call, I was crying alone in my room. Sad.

An hour later, others started to stir from their sleep. I could hear their voices. I could hear the bathroom door opening and closing and excited chattering all around. I turned the music in my earphones louder to muffle the voices. Ahh... I felt alright again. Was nearly lost there for a second. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.

People were outside strolling along, bringing flowers and carrying their children on their backs. Cyclists whizzed through, zigzagging amongst parked cars and pedestrians. The sky was a shade of periwinkle blue, with puffs of smoky white clouds decorating the background.

However, I felt separated. Just like a piece out of a whole red velvet cake.

I was calm in my room, in front of my laptop and abundance of notes. The tight knot in my gut did not show through my facade. I decided to paint my nails. They are a nice shade of milky green now.

Ewww

Ibu will be horrified. I accidentally sucked one of my fingers while reading my notes. It tasted blearghhh. Haha. I'll get them off soon, I promise!

The excited chatter from the now awoken people died away and travelled through and out of the front door. I was all alone. I let out a big whooooosh. Why was I so relieved?

I continued to paint the nails on my right hand. Oh no.. I got it smudged. I can never paint with my left hand. Complete failure. So I took the paint off, and just admired the nails on my left hand which looked perfect. Well done for an amateur I must say.

I looked at my notes. Oh the sinking feeling I've been experiencing these past weeks started to settle in the pit of my tummy. Maybe it wanted to stay there for some reason I'm not aware of.

I felt so... alone.

That was this morning. And right now, at 2.30 am in the morning, I feel more alone than I ever had. I thought I had someone to talk to, but I was bailed.

See how hurtful it can be?

(gambar dan caption sekadar hiasan di keheningan malam)

Just out of curiosity, do you know what the boy in the black top would say after the shouting boy gets back to his senses?

"Its okay, don't say sorry."

Let others wrong us, but never wrong others. We'll have our reward thereafter.

Thanks Ibu.

Thanks Allah s.w.t.

p/s: Don't mind my confusing manner of writing.