Thursday, 9 September 2010
Di sekeliling melur dan burung mesra, sedunya hingga malam terlena
"I know it sounds hard to believe but once I stop fighting it and accept it as a part of me, it's not such a bad thing. It will still hurt, it will still tear me apart, but in a different way, a more intimate way, I can use it. It's mine, it belongs to me. But the pain I'm feeling now doesn't last forever. It can't, it hurts too much. I can't live with that much pain, not forever, my body can't take it. It knows that if I don't get over it, it's going to kill me. And it doesn't want that, so it makes me get over it but getting over it doesn't mean forgetting it. It means betraying my own feelings, it just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level; a level that doesn't destroy me. I know that right now, the idea of getting over it is unimaginable. It's impossible, inconceivable, unthinkable. I don't want to get over it. Why should I? It's all I've got. I don't want kind words, I don't care what other people think or say. They are not me, are they? They can't feel what I feel. And they will never understand. And most importantly, you will never understand. So don't act like you do."
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